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Sunday, June 8, 2008

World Naked Bike Ride DC, thoroughly covered

It's going to be really really difficult, but I'm going to try to make this post as work-safe as possible. Tasteless, maybe, but rated G. Go here if you want to see the full flickr set of socks, cracks, thongs, creepy all-over tans, and meticulous grooming.

Anyway. Things convened in MacPherson Square around 3PM. For Erik, the obligatory folding bike pic. They're just so darned useful.
I heard rumors that MPD or NPS or somebody was threatening to arrest anybody who went all-in. Plus, DC is just a low-key city. So, lots of socks. Eavesdropped quote of the day -- "OOOO, is that moleskin?" Lots of folks like me, who just wore shorts. Like these guys:A brief debate erupted over the permissibility of miniature Crown Royal bags as conforming attire. Legal rights were asserted, case law was cited, phone calls were made....But it was all good. The Honest Tea folks, who also cosponsored Bike to Work Day, popped up to hand out free drinks to all riders, so kudos to them for their apparent liking of biking. By the way, I have no scruples -- give me free stuff, I'll talk it up.And off we go, with police escort from MPD.Down 14th to Penn...Tourists REALLY got a hoot out of the whole thing. I think. Down to the Capitol....With a stop for a minute to conduct vital business.Then back down Independence. Appropriate, because while many of us were there mostly for a fun afternoon, the point of the whole shindig was to rally against our dependence on oil.Awkward.... We were urging other cyclists, rollerbladers, skateboarders, etc. to join us as we rode. We then pulled alongside a pack of rental Segways, moving at exactly the same speed, on the sidewalk. Nobody quite knew whether they were worthy of inviting onto our little caravan.They hummed along beside us for a minute or so, each party avoiding the other's eye. The Segway ride leader in particular had his eyes locked straight ahead. Just up the block, I think we ruined this lady's vacation.We then convened in front of the White House, where middle schoolers giggled at us, a surprising number of freelance photographers took pics, Laura Bush was no doubt taken aback, and we all got sunburned. Semi-official count was 40-ish riders, which doubled last year's total, apparently.Anyway. My favorite pic, I'll just link to it, as it's pretty questionable. A man backdropped by the White House, wearing an eerily realistic fleshy stocking on his stuff, proudly standing beside his bike, the "Softride" brand prominently displayed. There's a great joke there, just beyond my reach. Suggestions?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting - I would have never thought of the connection between "Softride" bike brand and the thinly veiled soft penis just behind it! I can assure you it was a coincidence as it is me, my bike and my penis in a "penis glove" (which I made).

BTW, I'm not sure what to think of the picture as I look fat but I'm anything but fat - as the other pictures will attest.

At any rate, we had a successful bike ride and hope to do much better next year. Chicago, BTW, had 1700 riders, many of whom dispenced with the g-strings, thongs, and "gloves".